anger?

That is one emotion that I haven't had so much, but now that I am sitting here with something the size of a six-month-old fetus inside me, I think we should discuss the possibility of malpractice. I mean, I liked the guy and thought he was pretty good, but I have been into his office for a year with major swelling in my abdomen, and Bruce and I were commenting on the Dreadly belly (tonight) which doesn't even sink in when I lie on my back. I mean how stupid was this doctor anyway? Then I think, okay, Sal, how stupid are YOU? Pity party. Wanna come? I'll bring a Dreadly family member and you can take 'em out with a bag of blow-darts.

I know anger does nothing to soothe the Dreadly belly but this stuff is dangerous, and the more I think about him letting it get this big, the more I am mad. This thing weighs like 30 lbs and with the fluid in it too, it has caused me embarrassment and heartache, as I try to live a life trying not to be a size 14. I did so much cardio that I now have chronic tendinitis - I did 160 seconds of planks a day thinking I could certainly do something about it. I was going to become a zumba instructor in April (art teacher? piano teacher? band member? book writer? massage therapist? babysitter? art gallery manager? Waitress in a Chinese restaurant? Massage tool designer? *face it, you'd believe it* and sometimes I did two hours of intense cardio just to fix what I had come to hate myself for - my body. Sounding like a bitter ole lady? You're darn tootin, buster belly. The irony of this is that I am in the best cardio shape of my life, which might save me from the possible chemo-driven myocardio infarction. As I look at the intensity of my workouts with Dreadly Mum completely encasing my aorta, I could have died. That little blood-sucker is having "breakfast "of" me right now.

Okay, I'm furious. I'm getting myself all worked up here.

I have had numbness in my right leg for several years and they aren't even sure that could be part of it too. Are you kidding me? Tonight I was actually worried about myself thinking the damn thing was going to just blow up. I make it sound funny but it isn't - I assure you. It is very painful.

Vent over. I'll shut up. (Like that'll ever happen.)

I wanted to explain the Dreadly blog move. Fran Drescher wrote a book and (apparently) stole my name several years ago. I mean really. I understand the confusion but (I'm sorry) but the Dreadlys are mine, and I'm taking them out on my own. Just go from now on to...

thedreadlyfamily.blogspot.com

...and you can buy my blow-darts on Paypal so you can annihilate some Dreadly cells when you see me. The cancer cells aren't expensive to get rid of... just around 120K, fear, baldness, terror, the shakes, a weakened immune system, 24/7 metallic taste in your mouth, no hunger, hysteria, family sadness, abdominal pain, family stress, and a nasty drug habit.

Weed is sounding better and better every day.