Cancer: not so perky

Chemo poisons all good things in your body.
I am always tired.
I go work out and then sleep for several hours to recuperate.
My veins are shot.
My right side is completely numb.
I lost all my hair and it came back like a Brillo pad.
People use sad voices when talking to me.
My cancer doesn't go into remission, so it is a crap-shoot.
I shouldn't get too much sun due to chemo making my skin more sensitive.
I may die far too young.
The inflammation in my belly due to scar tissue makes me look kinda pregnant.
I am more sensitive to TV commercials which remind me hourly of my disease.
My energy level isn't stable so I can't work.
Traveling is harder on me.
I feel like an old person. It isn't the cancer... it is the chemo.
I think the chemo will kill me before the cancer does. Frankly, I know it will.
I don't know who to listen to sometimes... are the holistic docs right? Wrong?
Every symptom that I have makes me think it is more cancer... I had (just) a stye a few weeks ago... and cried for an hour.
The internet isn't my friend and I avoid looking up Lymphoma.
Statistics are so frightening. They don't give me more than five years.
People are inappropriate telling me my chances, and sometimes I can't get them to shut up.
I lose two whole months a year due to more chemo.
My goals have changed to hourly snipits of what I can handle.


I am super brave and have a good attitude, but would be lying if I told you I wasn't scared to death.