it's not if you win or lose....

it's this

Piglet: "how do you spell love?"


Pooh: "you don't spell it, you feel it."

Cry me a river...

The facts are in. Researchers have proven that it is unhealthy to shower or bathe in chlorinated, polluted or unfiltered water. It is a real anger. When you shower or bathe, chemicals in the water vaporize, releasing poisonous gases from organic compounds. This transforms the bathroom into a min-gas chamber filling the air with the same gases used as poisonous gas in WW II.

Good God. Now I get to worry about that too. Sheesh. 

I'm choosing to be gassed to my death. Whatever.

Music...

"Music is my religion."

Jimi Hendrix

I can relate. I've often thought of how I could ever choose between being blind or deaf. I'm not sure, although most people could answer that easily. To be blind would put you in a darkness - a black void. But somehow, I believe my empty abyss would be greater in silence. I love music so much.

I talk a lot about hip-hop because of my love of dance and the joy in that... but if I had to choose anything that rocks me to my core, it is truly the violin.

For this Passover season, this song is in honor all of those lost... I shake my head still in disbelief.

Don't worry...

be happy...

Twins...

My daughter's beautiful hair.... my coat.

MY Siri...

auto-corrects everything into smut and filth, but that's just on my phone. I'm fairly certain that my Siri has a drinking problem and mocks me when I'm not being productive.

respect...

motherhood, bitches.

tude...

I'm in awe with the attitude of most people who are diagnosed with disease.

i.e.

I hate God.
I'm pissed at the world.
I'm going to die.
I'm going to dwell on the negative.
I'm going to Google all the worst shit about my disease.
I'm going to be a big downer.
I'm going to have a pity party and invite guests who have to listen to me bitch.
I'm scared to death now... all day long.
I dream about my funeral.
I stop exercising because I am so sick in my head that my body won't work.
I'm angry.
I make my family feel like crap over my disease.

or...

I choose to live within a joyful framework.
I feel that my life has been changed for the better.
I appreciate my people so much more.
I make goals.
I research only positive things about my disease like new research in order to empower myself.
I exercise to the point of excess because I love the endorphins and serotonin released in my brain.
I choose to have nice people in my life who soothe my emotional state.
I eliminate the presence of assholes.
I honor my higher power by living a loving life.
I help others.
I learn something new every day, even if it is two bars of a difficult piano piece.
I empower myself with good nutrition.
I don't mention my cancer to my family very often.
I dwell on living, and not on dying.

We are all going to die. I'm not particularly interested as to the when or the how for myself.

Go ahead and pray for me. It won't matter... because I am going to be happy about every minute I'm here whether you do or whether you don't.

Sally Out.