wiggy

My wig is happier on HER. She loves it.

Float away in that safe bubble of joyous surrender!!! Today is a beautiful day. I send you a rose.

an excerpt...

"I think it's time to be selfish, to make the time to be still and to do things that feed your soul. Stop and enjoy a beautiful day, a good meal, a hand to hold, a gentle breeze in the trees, the sun on your face, your toes in the sand, the tranquility of the water, a smile, a laugh, a tender touch. Stop, breathe deep, and take it all in. Savor every sweet moment. Be still, be peaceful. Ahhh, bliss! Don't you feel better now? Good! Now go get a cold drink and flop down on the porch for the rest of the day........ Lord knows you deserve it."

"The pursuit, even of the best things, ought to be calm and tranquil." ~ Marcus T. Cicero

This is from a beautiful blog about living after cancer livingwithgrace.blogspot.com

I get this gift called CANCER. Thank you, God?!

Amanda

Please pray for my friend, Amanda, who has tongue cancer. She had half her tongue removed and is now on radiation and chemo. Her surgery including the tongue, the removal of a muscle in her arm to make another, and a skin graft for her arm removed from her leg; she also was put into menopause in order to save her ovaries for future children (et al) has made my lymphoma-journey like a walk in the park. Not to mention, she is only 30 years old.

She is a massage buddy. We couldn't have imagined a few years back in school that we would have been through this hell together.

Love her.

here we go...

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. I will be sick for around 2 weeks but my hair will begin to grow back and I will continue a super nutrition plan. As soon as I can, I will start walking my poor dog every day and gain some strength back with weights.

I am planning Zumba by September 1, as well as TRX with Allie - and am taking off work for at least a year. I'm pooped.

I find out when I get the Petscan today around 3pm which, of course, is the most important news. I am sorry this last 2 mos has sounded so negative but I had to be real so I could remember this. I have a friend who had cancer and chose not to read this blog at all and I really understood. I may never want to visit this blog again, but wanted to write it out from start to finish.

My hair is around 1/8 of an inch of peach fuzz (Santa colored) so I am kind of wondering what it will look like. I think I went from looking 45 to 70 in just a few short months so this will be interesting. I could always run away with Mr. Claus, but I would miss Bruce's cooking!

hugs,

Sal

Fun, fun!

18 weeks of chemicals...

...does this to you. I aged 10 years.

But I am done and had my last chemo today. I clearly have lost any shred of vanity.

yay, me.

woohoo - Thursday is my last chemo!

I'm almost giddy that this is over. Hair is coming in - which is weird since I'm not done yet and so I wonder if my body is just ready, baby.

I can't wait to have more energy to exercise and get back to work. I only have about four more bad days from June 30-July4th so this will be a great summer celebration. I'm pretty blown away at the people who disappeared from my life this year and haven't quite figured that out yet but am trying to concentrate on those angels who helped me get through this.

I have sooo much energy today and I know that I will be getting in the shape of my life this year. I'm loving feeling healthy. I would love to say that this bald thing has been okay but I am kind of over it and will be glad to have hair even if it is coming in like Santa Claus. The jury is still out on the hair dye.

It is supposed to cause cancer but I may take my chances!

the end of dreadly...

I never thought I was going to die at the hands of cancer. But this process has made me want to die. My last chemo is on Thursday and I am a changed human. My life will never feel the same again. I'm so damn tired. Talking and standing make me tired. I am thirsty - all the time. My body is screaming for this to end.

I know who my friends are, and have determined unequivocally who my people are. Thank you so much for being there for me. You know who you are. I will be eternally grateful to you for your help.

Bad stats: I've never been this sick in my life.

Good stats: I am down as of this morning 25 lbs (creeping back up as usual) and 9 inches in my waist. Yo Dreadly. Move On Out!

Big smile for sumpin. Let's hope the cancer doesn't return.

Bad haircut

Chemo #4 down. I feel inhuman. Face it, I look like an Auschwitz survivor. No amount of makeup can cover these tired eyes. I feel like a man because the wig doesn't cut it anymore - I absolutely hate it. My hair is coming in completely white and so I am officially an ole lady. Pet scan in 3 weeks to see if I get to be an even older ole lady. I'd like that, you know.

My friend, Amanda gave me this shirt.

before chemo -

A few months before I was diagnosed with stage 3, non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. Nonnas should NOT look pregnant. I had a tumor the size of a football encasing my abdominal aorta. Doc told me to lose weight. Talk about incompetent arrogance.

after chemo 4 months later (ewwww) - it is POISON FROM HELL!

I've lost 27 lbs and 9 inches from my waist. Much of this was dreadly shrinking. I could use a prayer or three that this crap is gone. What is scarier? Cancer or chemo?