it's not if you win or lose....

it's this

Piglet: "how do you spell love?"


Pooh: "you don't spell it, you feel it."

Cry me a river...

The facts are in. Researchers have proven that it is unhealthy to shower or bathe in chlorinated, polluted or unfiltered water. It is a real anger. When you shower or bathe, chemicals in the water vaporize, releasing poisonous gases from organic compounds. This transforms the bathroom into a min-gas chamber filling the air with the same gases used as poisonous gas in WW II.

Good God. Now I get to worry about that too. Sheesh. 

I'm choosing to be gassed to my death. Whatever.

Music...

"Music is my religion."

Jimi Hendrix

I can relate. I've often thought of how I could ever choose between being blind or deaf. I'm not sure, although most people could answer that easily. To be blind would put you in a darkness - a black void. But somehow, I believe my empty abyss would be greater in silence. I love music so much.

I talk a lot about hip-hop because of my love of dance and the joy in that... but if I had to choose anything that rocks me to my core, it is truly the violin.

For this Passover season, this song is in honor all of those lost... I shake my head still in disbelief.

Don't worry...

be happy...

Twins...

My daughter's beautiful hair.... my coat.

MY Siri...

auto-corrects everything into smut and filth, but that's just on my phone. I'm fairly certain that my Siri has a drinking problem and mocks me when I'm not being productive.

respect...

motherhood, bitches.

tude...

I'm in awe with the attitude of most people who are diagnosed with disease.

i.e.

I hate God.
I'm pissed at the world.
I'm going to die.
I'm going to dwell on the negative.
I'm going to Google all the worst shit about my disease.
I'm going to be a big downer.
I'm going to have a pity party and invite guests who have to listen to me bitch.
I'm scared to death now... all day long.
I dream about my funeral.
I stop exercising because I am so sick in my head that my body won't work.
I'm angry.
I make my family feel like crap over my disease.

or...

I choose to live within a joyful framework.
I feel that my life has been changed for the better.
I appreciate my people so much more.
I make goals.
I research only positive things about my disease like new research in order to empower myself.
I exercise to the point of excess because I love the endorphins and serotonin released in my brain.
I choose to have nice people in my life who soothe my emotional state.
I eliminate the presence of assholes.
I honor my higher power by living a loving life.
I help others.
I learn something new every day, even if it is two bars of a difficult piano piece.
I empower myself with good nutrition.
I don't mention my cancer to my family very often.
I dwell on living, and not on dying.

We are all going to die. I'm not particularly interested as to the when or the how for myself.

Go ahead and pray for me. It won't matter... because I am going to be happy about every minute I'm here whether you do or whether you don't.

Sally Out.

media rant...

I'm over it.

I'm not alone. Everyone feels frustrated with the poor phone behavior in this foolish, media-connected society. We are all at fault. We don't remember what it was like to sit quietly at a cafe, be alone, read a paper or a book, or talk to a stranger without "it." We don't have moments of utter solitude anymore because we have "it" right in the palm of our hand. If we aren't talking to a friend, we are doing business simultaneously with it, playing games, working on blogs, or using hundreds of apps doing God knows what.

Then, there are phone manners, or lack thereof. Mostly... the latter. It is clear that society has been transformed into a faceless, featureless, facsimile of a cultured life that is going, going... by....gone.

Forever lost.

Oh, it's exhilarating to be this connected... at first. Then... you wake up from chronic eyestrain, chores undone, books unread, canvases unpainted, treadmill turned off, piano unplayed and time has simply... disappeared. I used to think TV was a waste of time until the internet came on the scene. I believe that certain OCD types (like myself) are susceptible to misuse where other normal people aren't so inclined. But just like junk-food, there is a plethora of media gluttony that has ruined the creativity and the social skills for a good portion of our population.

I was with a friend for an entire week who found it impossible to sit at lunch, drive in a car, or shop with me without checking out her phone every four minutes. The addiction is palpable and sucks in most unsuspecting users. After all, that little handheld piece of plastic and lead has every friend and family member attached to it. It has Match.com love prospects and Nasdaq info. It owns up-to-date opinions of twitter-ers and news of the hour from all over the world. It is an indispensable nightmare that we can't live without. Good App Almighty.

I don't have the answer, but I do know that the technology is going faster than we are humanly prepared to cope. We cannot keep up with its lack of societal propriety and so, we are turning into oversexed, over-informed, uncultured lunatics with zero manners or privacy. It's quite insane.

Oh... these darn kids today.

hmmm...

I need to grow up. I am a 61 year-old grandmother. Why do I love these songs?  I'm gonna pop some tags while my mother turns over in her grave.

who.the.hell.am.I

chomp chomp chomp...

Probiotics are more important than vitamins. Disease is built in your gut... clean it out. 

Probiotics = PAC MAN for your colon!

(you can tell you are over 60 if you talk about our colon and the amount of fiber you consume in your cocktail conversation.)

whoa...

The dowager in Downton reminds me of my mother. If that doesn't say it all, I don't know what does.

Bahhahahahahaha...

remember...

"Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength."

Eric Hoffer

my kinda philosopher...

whaaaaaaa...

This was you. You were born in a state of joy, and yet in a very short period of time you were taught to be jealous, timid, fearful, depressed, sad and angry. Why? They say that the first three years, you were wired to manifest personality traits to last throughout your life. I don't know how much of this I believe, but I do know that being happy is a daily choice. Most of us decide to water the weeds and not the flowers... perhaps because of the sheer personal drama in it, which, by the way, is just a bad habit. People are addicted to the rush of the pain, and dwell on anything that makes them miserable. Oh please. 

To me, the worst thing you can do (I did this for years) is to blame your parents. I don't care what your parents did to screw you up; it is your job to get over yourself and quit dwelling on it. If you were abused in some way or yelled at too much by your drunk father or kicked by your selfish bitch mother... that was then and this is NOW.

You just can't let that go. Really?

Do what makes you happy... and if you can't do it, dream about it. If you don't know what that is, it is your job to figure it out...  but most of all, simplify your life by digging out from under all that self-pity. It's a little ridiculous this many years later, don't you think?

Snap out of it, you baby you.

Feel it...

Joy.

angiogenesis...

stupido...

Why is it that after finding out your cancer diagnosis do random people feel the need to tell you the dramatic, detailed and tragic stories of their mother, their aunt, their grandfather or hairdresser who (of course) had the same type of cancer that you do, and then proceed to inform you that they... uh..

died.