Goat Rodeo....

love.

my new theme song...

beautiful blend...

BPA isn't better!

BPA in Food Packaging Study

What happens when you try to get BPA out of your diet? The Breast Cancer Fund and Silent Spring Institute enlisted five families to participate in a study of BPA and phthalate exposure from food packaging to find out. Our results were published in Environmental Health Perspectives(March 2011).

For three days, we provided fresh food—not canned or packaged in plastic—to each family. They avoided canned foods and drinks and meals prepared outside the home.

The effect was significant. While the families were eating our food, their BPA levels dropped an average of 60 percent.

Our takeaway: you can reduce your BPA exposure by cooking fresh foods at home, avoiding canned foods, choosing glass and stainless steel food and beverage containers, and not microwaving in plastic.

Consider glass! NO MORE PLASTIC!

I...

never felt better

never looked better

never had more energy

love everything about my life

have a new lease on it and want to try a bunch of new things

am having chemo in April and I don't care - gonna kick its ass

love buying new clothes

work out harder and longer than before

If this is sickness, I'll take it.

memories of chemo...

Chemo.

Not sure what to expect but I’m trying not to think about it so much. My body rejects most drugs and overreacts to all of them so it makes me a bit wary of this idea. It is poison. It is helpful. Okay, that contradiction makes no sense but I am not crazy enough to go rogue like Suzanne Somers or Steve Jobs. No. Not me. I am going to do it the regular way and then obsess about how to get the crap out of my system later.

Time to kill cancer.

After all, this tumor of mine is (apparently) taking over and I mustn’t let it get into the bone, which I hear is a big deal. No bone infiltration for me. I will kill the sucker off first.

I’m headed into the waiting room where most of the people there look like they need a Red Bull or something. How did this happen to me? Hanging out with sick people seems foreign to me. It’s just weird.

They call my name to get blood work. I’m feeling edgy but refuse to give in to this in any melodramatic way. I will be a hard ass. I can do this without acting like a girl. I wish everyone would stop looking at me like I’m going to die in a month. I think this may be the hardest part because I do denial just fine. But no. I have to have visitors who bring me food that I don’t want and looks that I don’t need.

Thus far, my daughter owns my favorite reaction to this issue: “you’ll be fine, mom… got it?” I like it. It feels normal and encouraging without being pitiful. God, I hate pitiful pity.

Actually, I am allergic to everything. At chemo central Room 210, they don’t believe it. They start pumping the anti-nausea drugs in my like no tomorrow. I start to shake. Then, the hives begin to form all over my body. This is just not fun. Not to mention, it’s just such a waste of my time. Short of another real coke in a large Styrofoam cup they brought to me, I am over this crap. Oh, dear Jesus.

I love watching people. I love hearing their stories or overhearing them when they don’t know... okay, I am bored and my need to be busy all the time is showing. People seem worse than I do. They seem sick and I wonder if this will be the same for me when the chemo kicks in a few weeks from now. My kids have all come and gone and Bruce had to go to work. I made them leave. They know me and understand that do NOT want the typical reaction of too much attention. That will piss me off and make me feel sicker than I already feel. Then there are the nurses. “How do you feel, Mrs. Feldman?”

Fine.

“no, really.. are you okay?”

Yes, I’m fine. Never felt better.

You are about to stick heinous red poison into my veins. How do you think I feel, you imbecile? I’ll take some xanax. Yeah, that’s it. You can get me some more of that, sweetheart.

I’m holding magazines but looking right through the words. I am worried too but am hoping that I can just avoid this altogether… this giving into it, that is. You know, the crying. Starting the death march attitude will ruin me and I refuse to buckle.

They come to the conclusion that they have to put me out in order to get me through this. They do.

I had eaten a light breakfast, which was a good combination with my stress meds. I drove with Bruce without saying one word due to my nerves. They put me in a chair in cubicle separated by little walls, so most of the people had visitors who were pretty loud. So, being the very unlike Grammy that I am, I put on my Rhianna, my Robin Thicke, my Michael Jackson and my Janelle Monae on my headphones. I'm not exactly into old people music, so with the bald head and my too-loud jacked-up Chevy homeboy music, I should build quite a rep at the geriatric cancer care center by next week.

I care.

They should have realized that even though I am 60 years old, that I needed to be put into the Children's Cancer Center. They know not what they do by putting me here with the old people.

My "healthy" body doesn't like this crap. It was four whole bags of anti-nausea pre-chemo stuff along with Benydryl for the hives. Then the nurse kept waking me up saying "the chemo is coming last" the chemo is coming last." Why can people just not shut the heck up and allow me to just be in my medicated stupor. Sooo, I needed something more to distract me from the medical chatter. I needed music, people, support, calm and genuine distraction. The nurse says "heeeeeeeeeere is the chemo" kind of like Ed Mc Mahon (no kidding) and brings over (3) HUGE syringes with this dark pink chemo mixture that she was going to inject it in my arm. Terrifying.

Truth is, they color it so they know which one is the chemo as to not kill the wrong person with it.

All of a sudden, I said (kinda pushy-bitchy-like) "WHOA, heartless babes." "Not ready for the pink syringes right now. I need my computer first." I but on "Breaking Dishes" by Rhianna (LOUDLY) and put on my daughter's music mix as I quickly got to my email - read all of my notes. I started to sob to myself so no one notices (in a good way) knowing so well that my people were here with me -- all of them, all over the world remembering me, praying for me and holding me in their hearts - together in spirit. My tears were good tears. I said "okay, let do this."

It was icy cold and I could feel it rush through every vein of my body. I waited to something terrible but that didn’t happen. That would come later.

Two days later: I feel like I have the flu, with a horrible headache. My mouth is filled with a metal taste and my appetite is gone. I have problems with my balance and my goals in life have instantly changed. I am going to try to eat healthy meals and see if I can walk to the end of the street every day. I will lose my hair in five weeks so I will be wearing my "uni-bomber looking" sweatshirt on my walks. The nurse said "we don't want you to lose weight at all. Kidding right?

If I’m going through this crap, I might as well be skinny at the end of it. Sick and skinny; that’s right. Knowing me, I will be the only person in the world to gain weight during chemo.

Yep. Only me.

This makes me happy... and I can't articulate why. It is who I am and where I'm from. Dunno what that is about, but it is true.

'69 was a good year. Oh yes.

Green away cancer cells...

Yes, you've heard the expression, "going green." I have come to the conclusion that alL this talk about nutrition for me is about empowering myself in any way I can. I figure if I can in some way get healthy by going green (being alkaline) than that is what I am going to do. I am not a vegetarian. I believe in meat but only grass-fed decent meat and other than that I try to stay away from the grain-fed cattle-crowding, hormone, antibiotic laden kind.

I bought a Vegimix type juicer and I put fruits and veggies in all day and chug it down. It is for energy, for power, but mostly for the belief that it is helping me to thrive and live through this crap.

Today, my green monster was 1/2 banana, 5 strawberries, 1/4 cup blueberries, wheat grass, kale, spinach, chia seeds, green tea, unsweetened probiotic. Not bad. I feel cleansed.

I also drink ounces (and ounces) of alkaline lemon water with a whole lemon and its zest in a glass. Pucker up, butter cup.

Cancer doesn't like an alkaline environment. So there. GET OUT.

These are PH test strips. Your urine should be over 6.5, and green on the strip. If your body is acidic, it is a breeding ground for diseases like diabetes, heart disease and cancer. Acid=inflammation. Acid=sugar, flour, meat, booze ( ya know, all the fun stuff) This is a test to see where you are on the PH scale. You can get these on www.amazon.com

The weather is too beautiful to be inside blogging on the computer. I want to enjoy this.

I did find out that being in the Casa de Cancer Club makes me want to run. I don't like talking about it, listening to others talk about it or being around it in any way. I want to run from myself, which is impossible to do.

Movies help, but most of the time there is someone who mentions cancer in the movie. I'm in a mood.

:/

No.

PaleOMG

So, this Paleo thing isn't such a bad gig. I'm cooking like a fool so my days are filled with Cuisinarts, graters, and Teflon pans, which (of course) cause cancer. The Teflon, that is. Good God. I guess I can't get cancer since (*holy balls) I already have cancer. I win. I like this way of eating because:

1. I can stay on it for more than a day

2. I'm never hungry

3. I'm shrinking before my very eyes

4. I like bacon (the no nitrite, no coloring, no sugar or honey kind)

5. It has made me question how I ever liked bread (are there drugs in bacon to cause this miracle?)

6. It is fun being creative with food even tho' some of my recipes taste like dog

7. did I mention I like bacon?

8. I am in shock how I was ever a vegetarian for so long

9. It is difficult for me to get IN 1200 calories a day... is this a joke, cave people?

10. I am not feeding my cancer suckers with the Almond Joys that they are so accustomed too.

Take that, bitches!

*holy balls from paleOMG.com love her.

Joshua Bell...

A man sat at a metro station in Washington DC and started to play the violin; it was a cold January morning. He played six Bach pieces for about 45 minutes. During that time, since it was rush hour, it was calculated that 1,100 people went through the station, most of them on their way to work.

Three minutes went by, and a middle aged man noticed there was musician playing. He slowed his pace, and stopped for a few seconds, and then hurried up to meet his schedule.

A minute later, the violinist received his first dollar tip: a woman threw the money in the till and without stopping, and continued to walk.

A few minutes later, someone leaned against the wall to listen to him, but the man looked at his watch and started to walk again. Clearly he was late for work.

The one who paid the most attention was a 3 year old boy. His mother tagged him along, hurried, but the kid stopped to look at the violinist. Finally, the mother pushed hard, and the child continued to walk, turning his head all the time. This action was repeated by several other children. All the parents, without exception, forced them to move on.

In the 45 minutes the musician played, only 6 people stopped and stayed for a while. About 20 gave him money, but continued to walk their normal pace. He collected $32. When he finished playing and silence took over, no one noticed it. No one applauded, nor was there any recognition.

No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the most talented musicians in the world. He had just played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, on a violin worth $3.5 million dollars.

Two days before his playing in the subway, Joshua Bell sold out at a theater in Boston where the seats averaged $100.

This is a real story. Joshua Bell playing incognito in the metro station was organized by the Washington Post as part of a social experiment about perception, taste, and priorities of people. The outlines were: in a commonplace environment at an inappropriate hour: Do we perceive beauty? Do we stop to appreciate it? Do we recognize the talent in an unexpected context?

One of the possible conclusions from this experience could be:

If we do not have a moment to stop and listen to one of the best musicians in the world playing the best music ever written, how many other things are we missing?

Chaconne is the bomb.

If you have cancer....

by David Getoff (naturopath)

1)	Eliminating all foods that depress immune function (foods containing almost any sweeteners or sugars, foods made of flour, potatoes, and any food to which you are allergic or reactive to in any way).
2)	Eating adequate amounts of healthy foods, especially fresh non-starchy vegetables of various colors, animal protein only from animals that were raised and fed their natural diet, and healthy fats both from the properly fed animals as well as others listed in the information below.
3)	Removal of toxins from the body which were part of the causes that depressed your immune function including but not limited to- pesticides, herbicides, fungicides, chlorine, fluoride, mercury, lead, etc.
4)	Support of the main eliminatory organs such as the liver and kidneys with products designed to carry out this task.
5)	Consumption of adequate amounts of CLEAN PURE water in between meals to help flush out the toxins. Two quarts a day is a good beginning goal for an average weight adult. Excellent brands of bottled water include- Fiji, Volvic, and Calistoga. If your supermarket does not carry any of these, try your local health food store where most of your shopping will need to be anyway. Please note that hormone free and antibiotic free meats are often not as claimed. You need to check whether this statement means from birth to death or only the last 90 days to meet government standards. More importantly is that you need the food that the animal eats to be its natural diet. For example most beef that is free of added chemicals was still raised on grain and not pasture fed on grass, as it would be in nature. This causes all the fatty acids to be in the wrong balance. The Whole Foods Market chain of stores is one place where you can purchase New Zealand beef, which is one of the grass fed types that is available.

BOOKS TO HELP YOU UNDERSTAND WHY THE MEDICAL PROFESSION IS SO IN THE DARK ABOUT CANCER AND ITS TREATMENTS
Questioning Chemotherapy by Ralph Moss
The Cancer Industry by Ralph Moss
Confessions of a Medical Heretic by Robert Mendohlson
Modern Foods by David Casper & Thomas Stone
The Definitive Guide to Cancer Future Medicine Publishing

Special CANCER (and immune enhancing) diet

Before I begin, let me clarify something about food choices, cancer, and the medical industry. Physicians are taught almost nothing about clinical nutrition and diet. Dieticians are also taught almost nothing about clinical nutrition and neither professional would be able to pass the national board exam in clinical nutrition. To ask most doctors about nutritional supplementation or diets for cancer would be like asking a plumber or an electrician for information about how to make your financial investments. Always be certain that you ask questions from professionals who are thoroughly trained in the area of your question or else their incorrect answers and lack of knowledge will be partly your fault.

It can be very difficult to radically change your dietary habits. Keep in mind that your body is fighting a tremendous battle and it needs your help in two very important ways.

First, your body needs you to do your utmost to eliminate all of the things, which helped it, get to its present unhealthy condition. Second- your body needs you to supply it with all of the necessary building blocks and possibly many special supplements so that it can work its magic (but it is not magic) of helping to support and increase its ability to fight the cancer cells.

FOODS TO ELIMINATE (as much as possible)

All foods with any type of natural or synthetic sweeteners added. (Use Stevia instead).
This includes all sugars including molasses, corn syrups, honey, fructose, fruit concentrates, fruit juice concentrates, etc. Small amounts of Raw- unheated- unfiltered honey only if absolutely necessary and possibly Xylitol that appears to be an anti-bacterial sugar which at least in small amounts is not causing any problems or altering the blood sugar level.

A study done in Europe showed that micro waving changes the molecular structure of foods, making them depressive to the immune system, therefore I highly advise against the consumption of foods cooked defrosted or re-heated in a microwave if you are trying to improve your health and immune system.

All foods made from any kind of flour should be reduced as much as possible, or eliminated. This includes whole wheat breads as well as all cakes, cookies pastas, etc. If you insist on eating pasta, make it a whole grain spelt pasta and eat as little pasta and as much vegetable/tomato sauce as possible. The body converts flour products into sugars very rapidly, and cancer feeds on this sugar. Let's feed the healthy cells and not the cancer. Also eliminate all popped or puffed grains as these may be even worse. If you must eat a piece of bread per day (not more!) than make it one of the few healthy breads I have been able to find that are being commercially produced (I still do not eat bread, but these are the best I have ever found). These breads are made by the Julian Bakery in La Jolla California. Please click here for the PDF that I hand out to my patients, listing the 3 breads and the company information.

All foods cooked in any type of deep fat fryer whether fast food or at a fancy restaurant. In other words no French fries, onion rings, tempura, fried zucchini, etc. (ask me how to make healthy ones). No chips unless they are baked, not fried, (and contain NO added oils) and keep that to an absolute minimum since they are made from flour.

Eliminate any food which contains any partially hydrogenated oil of any kind.
Do not use standard types or brands of vegetable oils, only Flora and Omega brand unless it is extra virgin olive oil. All oils must be refrigerated! Use Omega Oils- Catalog 1-800-661-3529

No ordinary poultry, red meats, or standard eggs. Use only those, which were antibiotic and hormone free from birth to death and raised on diets as close as possible to their natural diets. San Diego residents may purchase top quality beef and chicken from Wrights Poultry at 1043 Broadway in Chula Vista (improving your health IS NOT necessariky convenient!) New Zealand beef from the Whole Foods Market is also excellent as is Shelton's chicken from Jimbo's Naturally in Del Mar and Escondido.

No canned foods, and frozen only if necessary. Fresh live foods whenever possible.
No fruit juices because they are concentrated sugars and are just as bad as a candy bar.
No store bought mayonnaise, they are all made from very bad and rancid (but deodorized) oils
No regular table salt. Use only special (non-white)unrefined sea salt called Real Salt from Redmond Minerals

FOODS TO INCLUDE IN YOUR NEW HEALTHY DIET

ORGANIC IS ALWAYS PREFERABLE IF AFFORDABLE.

Fresh vegetables raw or cooked No limit, eat lots of non-starchy vegetables! and season them however you like them best. (Most spices are very healthy especially ginger and turmeric and all fresh herbs). Cooked vegetables are often digested more easily by people with cancer than raw vegetables, unless the raw ones are juiced.

Raw fresh fruit should be reduced as much as possible, however an apple a day or a portion of fresh berries is fine as long as it is not strawberries.

Beans, always soaked over night first and eaten in small quantities. Neither grains nor beans should be a dominant food source but rather may be added in small quantities if desired. They contain a lot of starch which converts to sugar. adzuki, pinto, kidney, great northern, etc. DO NOT EAT ANY SOY PRODUCTS EXCEPT THOSE THAT STATE ON THE LABEL THAT THEY HAVE BEEN EITHER FERMENTED OR AGED! (Miso, tempeh and natto are good, but tofu, soy milk and soy cheeses are bad) for more information go to www.soyonlineservice.co.nz

Whole large grains, always soaked overnight, such as spelt, kamut, barley. Small grains need not be soaked such as amaranth, quinoa, and teff. Some of the most nutritious grains appear to be teff, quinoa and amaranth. Barley converts to sugar very slowly and is therefore also an excellent grain. In general, grains should not be consumed as a main food but rather as a small portion, if desired, along with your plate full of healthy vegetables, properly raised animal protein and good fats and oils.

Eggs are fine as long as you buy San Pasqual, Shelton's, or a free range preferably organic egg. They may be cooked separately or added to any other food. Poached or boiled. For frying use coconut butter, or ghee. (Coconut butter only from Omega Nutrition). Eggs should be from vegetarian fed hens and be free of hormones and antibiotics. (New Zealand eggs may also be fine). The free range ones get the additional benefit of eating some of the insects that are part of their natural diet.

Cook beef as rare as possible. The best is the New Zealand Beef and the beef from Wrights mentioned above. These are both from pasture fed animals and NOT grain or corn fed. Rare beef has a great deal more nutrition and is also much easier to digest than beef cooked medium or more.

Pasteurized milk has had all of its health benefits destroyed by heating, so the only really good quality milks available in California health food stores are currently (2012) Organic Pastures and Claravale whole Raw milk. Other brands may be available in other states but ask if the cows are outdoors, grazing on grass in a pasture. If you MUST drink a pasteurized milk, I recommend that you do not use Horizon as they were pretty badly caught fudging on some of the organic standards. Instead, I would use Strauss or Organic Valley which I believe are far superior if you must use pasteurized. Use only whole milk, NOT LOW FAT OR SKIM, but the RAW is far-far better. Use foods as presented by nature, every time humans change them, we make them less healthy.

Good quality organic plain Whole Milk yoghurt is OK if you have no problem with dairy products. You may sweeten it with stevia and add a small amount of fresh cut up berries for added flavor.

Acceptable oils for any kind of cooking or sauteeing are limited to Ghee, raw sweet butter, or coconut or sesame oil from either OmegaJ, or FloraJ Omega may be ordered at 1- 800-661-3529

For oils which will not be cooked such as for making salad dressing, or on some very occasional pasta or bread, use extra virgin olive oil, flax seed oil, sunflower oil, pistachio oil, walnut oil, or a combination. Always use unfiltered raw apple cider vinegar when making your own salad dressings.

ALL OILS MUST BE KEPT REFRIGERATED (EXCEPT COCONUT)

TRY TO DRINK TWO QUARTS (or more) OF GOOD WATER (BETWEEN MEALS) EVERY DAY

The two best drinks are water and fresh carrot juice. (Must be raw and NOT pasteurized)
Okay once in a while would be a soda made by you, from seltzer or club soda with a small amount of some good quality fresh juice like unfiltered apple added maybe with a twist of fresh lemon or lime and stevia for added sweetness. A Fresh lemon or lime may be squeezed into your daily water for added benefit if you like. Much better would be to make the “soda” from Gerolsteiner sparkling water with Stevita brand flavoring powder added. 1-888-STEVITA

Never eat within 2 hours of bedtime
Stevia, a special herb, is acceptable as a sweetener. (Different brands taste differently)

Some possible beginning supplements while you're waiting to see me. If you wish to be aggressive in assisting y 2 2our body in its ability to fight or if you wish to add them to whatever your own health practitioner is doing with you.

A good multi-vitamin such as Super Nutrition's Perfect Family iron free (regular if your iron is low, ask your doctor), taken as 2 tablets towards the end of breakfast and 2 more towards the end of dinner. Never take a multi at the beginning of a meal or without food. These are available at Whole Foods market and other fine health food stores.

Extra vitamin C 2000mg per meal. (Min 6,000mg/day) A good product is NOW FOODS code #0605 called C-1000 Mineral Ascorbates.

Milk Thistle Capsules 160mg with breakfast and dinner for liver support (liver support)

Alpha Lipoic Acid 100mg with each meal (Jarrow is a good brand) (liver support and anti-oxidant)

Vitamin A from Fish Liver Oil Capsules. 50-100,000iu per day for 30 days

Immune-26 powder 3 scoops once a day (3 cans/month)
It is suggested that you take a portion a day for 4 days, then raise to two a day for 4 days more, then continue at three scoops/day. This gets the body used to the immune changes. If a loose stool occurs, raise the dose more slowly. www.mylegacyforlife.net/getoff
Or just call Christopher at 1-707 542 5588 to get on wholesale autoship of 3 cans/month

Carlson brand Cod Liver oil 1 Tablespoon per day and Omega 3-6-9 oil from Omega Nutrition 1-800-661-3529 also add 1 Tablespoon per day. Keep both in the fridge and use a MEASURING Tablespoon not a soup spoon.CoQ-10 500-800mg taken once per day with a meal Use only Q-Absorb-100 by Jarrow Formulas available from some health food stores and from Beachwood Canyon at www.bcn4life.com at a discount Plus Generation from Beachwood Canyon (above) 3 capsules with breakfast and dinnerTheraMend by Rainbow Light 2 tablets per meal (higher may be more helpful)

Available at better health food storesThese suggestions are nowhere near the amount of information you need when you are fighting cancer, but it is a substantial start. I do not really like to give supplement suggestions prior to the initial consultation, however since I am generally booked 6-10 weeks ahead, I make an exception with cancer. In addition, use VERY few network products in my practice, but Immune-26 is an excellent product and enables you to get started prior to seeing me in person.

Another good product is CELLFOOD. This can be ordered at www.oxywave.com/getoff recommended usage would be to put the drops in the 2 quarts (minimum) of good quality drinking water you should be consuming throughout the day. Start at 30 drops per day and every week you could increase by ten to reach 60-80/day. Cellfood concentrate can digest natural fabrics. Be careful where you drip the drops.

The above suggestions are simply because I am booked up months in advance. Many people who are either waiting to see me or have attended one of my lectures or classes have asked that I put this information in writing so that they might possibly look into some of the products I use in my practice. The above constitute less than 1% of the products I utilize, but are some of the best for a general beginning until you can obtain further guidance. Please consult your current health professional before starting any new program. This information is neither a cure for cancer nor a general recommendation that everyone take if they have been diagnosed with cancer.

Toxic metals such as mercury, lead, etc. have been shown to be an important reason that the body's immune system will not work adequately to fight cancer. Currently, the best product that is easily available to the public, for slowly and safely chelating (binding & removing) these poisons, is NCD or Natural Cellular Defence from Waiora. My recommendation is 10 drops three times each day (any time is okay, I generally have my patients do first thing in the AM, last thing at night and some third time during the day). To order go to www.MyWaiora.com/740800 it is an MLM organization (but a great product) so the product is much less expensive if you sign up before you order. You may also call my friend Joann Cuddigan at 1-800-700-5402. You will have to ask for her when you call. She will set up your paperwork and get your order placed and answer your questions. If you experience any fatigue (not usually a problem), immediately reduce the dose to half as many drops for a week and then bring it back up. Any fatigue, reduce the dose for a while.

Immune Builder by Mushroom Science is a great immune supplement at better health food stores. I use doses varying from 4 to 6 capsules 2 to 3 times per day as another immune booster.

To Your Health David Getoff

Minus nine, baby!

I've lost nine inches in my waist which seems like some kind of exaggeration, but the more I think about it... my old doctor needs to have an adjustment with a sharp implement inside one of his darker orifices. Does he have any clue what he has done to me for the last ten years with his ignorance?

Best news is, I have the good cancer that (apparently) you can manage. Yeah... that sounds about as fun as managing root canals and toenail extractions every few months without novocaine. No matter. I have so much ADHD that I forget that I have cancer and go along my merry way with few meltdowns other than (still) having the strangest body. I am still working on my waist so I began yoga. I hate it. I mean I hate it so much that I dread it. I don't actually go to a studio for fear of making a fool out of myself, but decided on the Sadie Nardini tapes (oops CDs) instead at home. I like groaning alone and stopping when I feel like it. Pressure from skinny forty-somethings isn't my aim nor is personal humiliation.

I adore how it makes me feel. I am convinced now that I am a body builder (that is before I get on the scale and look at my actual reflection) but I am stronger than I have ever been. I gave a massage to a lady last week who said her husband had NHL and was on the same chemo cocktail last year. He can't get out of bed yet. hmmm.

I haven't decided whether it is my talent for forgetfulness or just that I am the strongest woman in America. I feel great. I work out every day, eat green, stay off processed foods and have eliminated sugar. I refuse to dump booze and coffee so they will have to put me in restraints for that one. I only drink on the weekends so that is a plus. I switched to decaf.

So this morning it was downward dog for me, fists of fire with a few grunts and groans. I despise every minute of it but (knowing me) I will be teaching it along with Tai Chi in a few years. Ommmmmmmm.

I truly do live in my own little dream world. Illusions of grandeur. That's it.

Sadie and I are now Twitter friends. Just get cancer. *Anyone will talk to you*

Glucose... this is a big deal.

Teapot...

I ran across a teapot of my grandmother's this morning. It is in my cupboard and it is definitely in the way. I don't drink tea. I don't like ceramic things with flowers on them and my dishes are of earth tones and not blue. Things don't have to match but I rarely bring this teapot into my world.

My grandmother's name was Laura. We called her "Magga" because my brother couldn't pronounce Grandma. She lived with us for her last few years because she, too, had cancer. The cancer ordeal meant so little to me back then other than the idea of losing her to it, but I couldn't relate to the suffering and confusion over what it does to your body. Every morning when I went to high school, Magga would make me tea and toast. She poured her tea out of that coffeepot. I can still hear her New England accent... "oh deahh, your skirt is fah too short to go out like that." She sounded just like a Kennedy.

So every morning, I drank the tea that I didn't like and kissed Magga goodbye in my 7" - long skirt. She cringed but hugged me tightly anyway. I'm quite fond still of orange marmalade that she smeared on that toast. I'm missing that toast and marmalade with my latest low-carb funfest. It tastes like home to me.

It hit me today how many times I've shoved that teapot off to the side of the cupboard never allowing myself to take the darn thing to Goodwill. As we get into our sixties, we must come to terms with the fact that our kids do NOT want our stuff from our memories because it means nothing to them. I have so many dumb material things that take me back home, and even though my mother's passing was a bit bizarre, her things are difficult to dump also. With scores of boxes worth of treasures it is time to begin sifting out things that no one wants. The most important aspect of those trinkets is to use them during our lives and not wait for special occasions. It is in their use that conjures up the sweet memories.

I won't be throwing that blue teapot out any time soon, but if any of my kids start drinking tea, I may beg them to take it.

Batter up...

I had one of those days that was a justification for all that I am and all that I have become.

Back story:

A woman saw me on the front page of the paper with regard to my free massages for chemo patients. She read that I had been a piano teacher for twenty years and (basically) wanted to pick my brain about my method. She called me this morning to meet me for breakfast. She was twenty minutes late. I am punctual to the point of OCD. Frankly, she just told me by her tardiness that my time wasn't important and as a consequence neither was I. Strike one.

Then, she didn't want to order yet because she wasn't ready. Bossy, bitchy, controlling stranger. I have hypoglycemia, and I was dizzy and starving... she doesn't give me that option. I ordered without her. Strike two.

She proceeded to bring out reeeedunculously complicated music from her briefcase telling me that this was the kind of stuff she played in her sleep. I told her, "great, but what is your niche as a teacher... this?" She told me she wasn't sure, but that she could teach anyone. I told her that finding her niche was important so she could know what she was trying to convey. She went on and on about the importance of theory. I told her that my mojo was to allow the kid to find their joy in music and all the while sneak that theory in the back door... so they could stand what they were doing for five minutes. I told her that that was far more important to me. She looked at me as if I was a visitor from the twenty-third rock from the sun. Third strike, but not "out" yet.

I talked to her about my book. I told her that a man outside my marriage paid attention to me for two minutes and that I needed an f-in bib, and so I made up a story about him. She looked appalled. Then, she asked if we could hold hands and pray before lunch. Strike four.

We both ordered omelets. I got two extra ingredients in the omelet and so she wanted separate checks because of this disparity. Ding, ding, ding. Strike five.

As I was walking out of the restaurant she felt the need to talk about her left-brained approach to music, but mostly wanted to take advantage of the fact that a) she needs students and b) I (still) have a huge following for piano (like the pied piper) even though I now write and do massages. She asked me if I would recommend her as a teacher. She had no idea with whom she was dealing. I am honest. I am fierce. I am fearless. I am a woman who has cancer. I tell it like it is. My answer?

"Probably not. Strike six, you're out." She never realized that she had been playing outfield in my little baseball game.

Oy gevalt.

Maggi

I had too much wine today.

I’ve been on a strict diet with the intention of starving cancer cells if there is such a notion. I read a lot about it and some people believe this. I’m not so sure. Nevertheless, I study nutrition now like I am getting my RD, and this empowers me even if it is horse manure. It is working for me emotionally during this latest fight of mine.

And then there is Maggi. She is an old friend from college and she died yesterday. They don’t know how, but her partner found her dead in her home. Ironically, Maggi had just written to me telling me how much she loved my book, and that I was in her prayers. Me.

Maggi. Dead at 60.

I want her back. I want to tell her how I felt about her. I wanted to laugh again in how we met. She and I were on a double date. I was with Jon and she was with a boy named Bruce. That is how I met my husband… on a double date with Maggi. We always had a good laugh about it. Now Maggi is gone. This is how life works, and there is no control in any of it. We are born, we yearn to find love, and we die. This is it. All of the other crap that we concentrate on like being successful in business, owning a nice home, being thinner, being smarter, being famous, or creating something memorable means absolutely nothing. It is only love that matters as the days meander towards the end.

So, I had too much wine today. After that, I had too much Godiva chocolate. Now, I am hungover with a terrible headache. Here’s to you, Maggi.

Maggi Donohue (1951-2012)

Killing Cancer...

excerpt from Amy Kabul (RD)

"This is a post that I did for the Paleo Brands blog awhile back. Cancer runs deep in my family and there are not many people that don't know someone battling the deadly disease. This one bears repeating - so here it is making its Fuel As Rx debut:

Cancer, it's a word no one wants to hear, yet according to the National Cancer Institute it's a diagnosis that 1 in every 2 of us will face. In 2009 it was estimated that 1,479,350 people were diagnosed with cancer and 562,340 died from the disease. These statistics make the search for a cure and mechanisms for prevention hot topics.

Here's a little FYI on cancer cells - they require glucose (sugar) to grow. In fact, they consume 4 to 5 times more glucose than normal cells! So, logic would say, restrict sugar (carbohydrate) to starve and kill cancer. This has proven to be effective as demonstrated by this study and numerous others. Following a restricted calorie, ketogenic diet literally 'starves' cancer cells. But instead of instructing cancer patients to follow a diet like this the American Cancer Society recommends a 'plant-based' (primarily vegetarian), whole grain rich, low fat diet instead. Scroll down this list of 20 examples of 'healthy' snacks for cancer patients... Hmm...

Now, this is not to say that the knowledge of how the 'starve' cancer isn't out there. In fact, according to some recent research (read here for the non-geek version), scientists have developed an anti-cancer agent (drug) that acts as an 'energy restriction mimetic'. The researchers state that "Energy restriction may be a powerful 'new' strategy for treating cancer because it targets a survival mechanism used by many types of cancer cells." The research shows that it's possible to develop drugs that act to simulate glucose and energy restriction.

Since we have this information, does it not make sense to use it to prevent and help stop the spread of cancer now? Can we afford to 'wait' for the drug to be developed and approved by the FDA? When it comes to cancer it could mean the difference between life and death... Is that piece of cake really 'to die for'???"

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(Being that every person carries cancer cells, why are you waiting to dump the sugar?) S