well...

The Dreadlys look me out this week. I won't go into details, but I haven't been well enough to even talk on the phone. I said a while ago that if this takes on some kind of complaining-fest that I would stop. So, I did.

No amount of TV can combat the boredom that I feel at this time. I've never been a fan of television, but at this point, reading is too hard because of the headaches. It is tempting to take a sleeping pill in the afternoon and one at night, but that is excessive and too scary to contemplate. Pure and simple: this experience has made me want to check out. Sometimes, it will be 9 am and I am already bored and wonder how I can make it until the afternoon, let alone the evening.

There is no justice in life because when you are working, all you think about is time off, but during those times you never could imagine a vacation from life - during your life.

Sometimes, I think of this as a way to just enjoy a few months off from any responsibility. If it weren't for the obvious terror of what comes next, I might be able to justify all the fun.

But the terror remains.